Some of my writing/rambling thoughts from finals week

Hi all,

I thought I would gradually begin posting some of the things I’ve written over the years. Although I aspire to be an investigative writer and reporter, I once thought of majoring in creative writing or English. I turn to writing when I have too many thoughts floating too fast through my head. Here’s something I wrote during my finals week last fall quarter. It was a tumultuous time, full of work and anxiety about achieving my goal GPA. While it was an admirable goal, I learned a bit about the difference between meaningful and meaningless standards. And I’ve since learned that many of the emotions I was feeling at that time came from separation from God.


I can only type in Times New Roman.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the goings-on of the everyday. The problem is you forget what matters most, the drumbeat within your soul. You get caught up in the doing so much that you lose the feeling. It’s a scary realization. Terrifying, actually.

Damn I’m lonely. There’s no reprieve for the weight of the world’s emotions: loneliness; love lost; love gained, but not by you. Deep, deep darkness filters out all the light. You are lost in it. And sometimes you don’t want to find your way out.

I switch tenses, pretending it’s YOU that’s lost, not ME, not I. If I am lost, it is because I wasn’t following directions. Maybe sometimes I want to get lost. Explore in the wilderness, instead of following the route to my destination. A side trip, if you will. What always comes of these side trips is a mediocre revelation, or a vision of interest. It’s never the beautiful vista I’d expected, though. It comes with a tinge of sadness, having an expectation of something more that is never fulfilled.

I like to start paragraphs and sentences with I. These are my words, my thoughts, so I am allowed this liberty. It feels good to write, to get my emotions, daily suppressed, down onto the screen. I don’t do it enough because I know there are other more important things I should be doing, productive, means to an end. But what is more productive than pouring your tears and sorrows out, letting them flow like blood from a wound so that you may be healed?

When I do this, I feel a tingling that seems to originate from my heart, but maybe it’s deeper than that. It’s the feeling pouring back into my veins after a long hibernation. My heart is raw, my soul sliced open, no longer numb to emotions. In this moment, I feel the weight and depth of them, which cannot be measured by any traditional method, and take in the sensation: I am alive.


xx, Brooke


So I decided to start a blog…

Hello there,

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Brooke Wanser, and I’m a recent college graduate of Northwestern University in Evanston, Illinois where I received my Bachelor of Science in Journalism. Now, I’ve moved back to my hometown of Mission Viejo, California, where I am anxiously applying for jobs and learning to trust in God’s timing.

Why am I starting a blog? I’ve never felt comfortable with the idea of sharing intimate details of my life on social media. In the type of journalism I’m attracted to, the writer is in the background, not a character in the story. After the promptings of several people, however, I finally decided it might be a good idea to step outside my comfort zone. Other reasons are: it seems like fun, I have too much free time and I probably need to “brand myself” (what am I, livestock?)

What will this blog be about? Things that interest me, and maybe you too. Some topics that might come up: my love for country music and my notion of the country lifestyle, God, probably social policy, definitely coffee, food, fitness and living a balanced lifestyle, beautiful places, some of my writing and my wanderings around Orange County. When I created this account, WordPress prompted me to choose which category I wanted to put my blog into: fitness and health, or writing and books, or education, or business. That seemed silly to me, because I don’t want to box what I have to share into one category. And that just about sums me up.

More content to come…

xx, Brooke