Who needs a man?

I find it peculiar that

The most frustrating thought I had today was:

Gosh, I wish I had a man here to do this.

This, of course, was opening a bottle of red wine.

Using my handy wine opener

All-black and plastic

A wine opener for dummies, or,

me.

Still, even with the extra grip,

the barreled body surrounding the corkscrew

I fail.

I pull up, and bits of foamy cork fall onto the counter

I try again, plunging the screw in and twisting,

twisting, twisting

Yet it does not take,

it does not hold.

More crumbly bits of cork:

If only I had a man, I sigh.

I concede, and pull out my roommate’s corkscrew

Utilitarian metal, gleaming

I plunge it in and feel it take, though I have torn through nearly half the cork already.

Victory!

I have driven the enemy out from his cave.

I pour out the wine,

burgundy.

And think

Who needs a man? Not I!

As bits of cork bob in the red sea.