Last year at this time, I was getting ready to graduate college in a month while working several jobs and searching for a full-time position. I felt the heavy weight of my soon-to-be jobless future on my shoulders. Fast forward a year, and I’m in a similar situation: once again, jobless, but instead of being filled with anxiety, I’m filled with joy and excitement.
At the beginning of last week, I was hopeful but apprehensive: my internship at the paper was coming to a close, but my editors were hoping to have a job for me anyway. On Monday, I was asked to interview for that job, but on Tuesday, I was told the budget for the position I’d been groomed for over the prior weeks had been canceled. On Wednesday, I met with an editor and he confirmed the news: there simply wasn’t a full-time opening for me.
Regardless of my calm demeanor, I left his office in a daze. After spending nine months at a place that had begun to feel like home, I was no longer a part of the family. I didn’t have a job anymore.
After the initial freakout (OH MY GOD HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE WITHOUT MONEY WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WHERE WILL I GO), I relaxed pretty quickly.
In fact, one of my dear work friends commented on this. He said he was impressed by how calm I was, instead of worrying about what I would do in the future. Well, I do have those worries, but here’s the secret: I know God’s taking care of me in the midst of this life change.
In Matthew 6, towards the end of the chapter, Jesus speaks about the practical worries of food, water, and clothing:
25“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
The point of anxiety and learning to trust in God isn’t lost on me. I’ve spent a good deal of time being anxious for the future and things I can’t possibly control, to my own detriment. But throughout my life, God has never let me down and never abandoned me. Even at my lowest points of loneliness and despair, he’s provided hope.
I have everything I need to live and more. I have supportive and loving friends who build my character daily. I have parents who have demonstrated God’s unconditional love for me throughout my entire life. I have food to eat, a place to sleep, and talents God has given me to further his kingdom. I don’t have a job, but I have skills, connections and gratitude for the job that fed my passion for journalism over the past nine months. And I have faith in God’s plan that I will find exactly the position he wants me to be in.
In the young millennial culture, there’s a high premium placed upon climbing one’s way up the career ladder. Many are driven by a desire for money and the items and status it brings. It’s understandable, but it’s a toxic culture. I refuse to feel ashamed that I don’t have a job and I don’t have much money. While I look for the perfect journalism job, I hope to get a job serving or as a swim instructor or working in PR in the meantime. I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m more excited than I’ve ever been.
Yesterday I went to church, interested to see what God would speak to me. Guess what the message was on?
Yep, I’d say God’s looking out for me.
Catch you on the flip side,